“The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself "- Thales
Let Your Tears Flow!
“As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting, and praying before for the God of heaven!” - Nehemiah 1:4
Points
A. Learning to understand the root of our behaviors is vital to changing them.
B. Studying God’s Word helps us gain insight.
C. It may reveal to us that we have a root of fear in our lives that is affecting our actions and reactions.
***Can Fear affect you and your relationships? - Pg. 38
Very few people like to admit they are afraid, but aggressive, bold people really don’t like to admit it because it tends to make us feel weak out of control.
***What is the Source of your Fear?
Even though you are afraid, you can put your trust in God. We don’t have to be afraid just because we feel afraid.
Fear is one of the main torments that the devil uses against people.
His desire is to control us with it and prevent us from being the person God wants us to be.
King David - Pg. 38 (3rd Paragraph)
King David said that when He was afraid, he put his trust in God (Psalm 56:3). He was a man who had a wonderful relationship with God, and he was a king with great power and authority, and yet at times he experienced fear. Fear presents itself to everyone, but we don’t need to let it control us.
****Some unhealthy reactions are rooted in insecurity, leaves you feeling that something is wrong with you.
Do you have the Fear of Being Rejected?
Do you have the Fear of being taken advantage of?
If you let certain people and certain situations in, it feels as though others are taking control over you.
Discernment - Page 39
In the Christian context, discernment is perception with a view to spiritual direction and understanding.
A more practical definition would be to see beyond the way things appear to the way they truly are.
***WE need to understand ourselves***
To understand ourselves, it requires taking the time to see the motive behind our behaviors rather than merely the behavior itself.
Wrong Attitude - Pg 39/2nd paragraph
* It could be displayed in your heart.
* It could be displayed in your conversation.
* It’s not what God approve of.
* Ask God why you feel this way.
What causes some wrong attitudes - Jealousy
** Jealousy causes wrong thoughts and feelings.
** Jealousy causes you to judge or others to judge you.
** Jealousy causes you to accuse those you love
** Jealousy makes you blame others
(((Always remember that you cannot do anything about something if you are blind to it! Don’t be afraid to walk in the light with God and let Him reveal truth to you!))) - Page 39
Nehemiah was not afraid of emotion or reluctant to show it. Notice that he “wept and mourned.” Some people refuse to exhibit any kind of outward emotion, which is NOT healthy. Pent-up feelings are harmful and need to be released.
If we do not release our emotions at appropriate times, as Nehemiah did when he heard the walls of Jerusalem had been destroyed, our emotions will eat away at us on the inside.
Stuffing or suppressing our feelings can also cause physical problems such as sleep troubles and digestive issues. Perhaps you have heard of people who went to the doctor because they felt so abad adn were convinced something was wrong with them.
Once they went through all kinds of medical tests, the doctor found nothing and simply said their symptoms were related to anxiety. Our emotions will always manifest in some way, so it’s best for us to deal with them before they deal with us.
God created us with tear glands and the ability to cry, which must mean there will be times in life when we, like Nehemiah, need to weep. The Old Testament women, Hannah, wept and even stopped eating became she was brokenhearted over not having a child (I Sam 1:7).
*** If we don’t face truth, we will not be free from the things that steal our peace and joy.***
Discernment requires that we slow down and think more deeply in order to get to the root of our behaviors.
Finding out why we do what we do is very valuable.
Sometimes it takes a crisis to wake us up and help us see in ourselves what others see. (Page 40)
Making an Effort to Change.
*** Ask God to help you to change. You won’t be successful without God.
*** We need to let the Holy Spirit lead us!
*** The Holy Spirit is our teacher and our guide.
*** God will start giving you discernment, or insight, into the root of your problems.
Personality
When we talk about healing the brokenhearted, we are talkign about healing those broken in personality.
Personality is a combination of the natural temperament we are born with combined with things that happen to us, especially in our formative years.
Spirit-led personality - Tim LaHayeJoyce had a temperament that she was born with which includes
**weaknesses and strengths
**she had to learn to be Spirit-led in her responses to people and life
**one of Joyce’s weaknesses of her temperament was the desire to control people and things
Choleric - bad temperament or irritable
(A leader; they are happy to take control of any situation and tell others what to do!)
Greatest Strengths
It has been interesting to learn that many of our greatest strengths can also be some of our greatest weaknesses, unless we learn to follow God’s principles throughout life.
***Learn all you can about yourself
***It will help you become your true self.
We all have a pretend self (one that we project to the world). - page 41
God wants us to be our true self, the person He created us to be.
You don’t have to wait for a crisis in your life to begin your journey of healing and wholeness.
Finding Your Path - Page 42
A. There are many different roads that can lead us to the same destination when it comes to healing our souls.
B. We don’t all have to take the same path in order to find the healing we need; because we are individuals.
C. Gode will lead us individually.
Nonnegotiable - Bringing Healing in our Lives
A. Personal relationship with God
B. A diligent lifetime study of His Word
(You can’t get a healthy soul from your spouse - it only comes from God)
C. Read books (based on biblical principles and those by Christian psychiatrists and psychologists) Be careful what you allow to enter your soul.
D. If you can’t find a good, spiritual, counselor, God will give you what you need and lead you to the things that will help you.
E. Talk to Someone - even if it’s not a counselor
Empathy
Knowing that Jesus truly understands what you are truly going through is a major source of comfort.
Many people can try to understand our pain, but no one understands it better than someone who has experienced what we’re going through.
Wrong thing to do!!
***Keep our pain a secret, and it festers in our souls until we become dysfunctional.
What does being dsyfunctional means?***
It does not mean that we don’t function in the world we live in, but it does mean that we don’t function properly.
Personal Struggle of Joyce
** She kept her sexual abuse in her childhood a secret and it was one of the things that kept her in bondage.
** She never told anyone except her mother until she married her husband, Dave
** The fear of someone knowing was ruling her thoughts and actions
** Causing her to behave in ways that were dysfunctional
** Her mother did not believe her therefore she did not believe others would believe her.
What keeps us from being FREE
** We think people will reject us
** Blame Us
** Judge us harshly if they know our past
POWERFUL NUGGETS (bottom of pg 44)
(((If you had one disappointing experience, don’t let that disappointment hold you in bondage to secrets that are making you sick.)))
1. Find someone to talk to.
2. Try Jesus, he understands and has compassion for you.
3. Be patient
4. Healing usually comes in varying degrees, a little at a time.
5. God is rarely in a hurry because He is more interested in doing what needs to be done the right way.
6. Don’t ever give up.
7. Don’t get weary of doing what is right and you will reap a harvest in due time (Galatians 6:9)
8. Be a person of action; always ready to promply do what God shows you to do.
9. Knowing what to do but not doing it will not help you. (Prescription medicine)
10. Be a lifetime learner, especially about yourself
CLOSING - There is an amazing person inside of you waiting to come out!