Dec. 17, 2020 at 8:30PM
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“And it will be said: “Build up, build up, prepare
the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people” (Isaiah 57:14 NIV)
POWERFUL: When we are wounded, we must not only desire to be healed, but we must be willing and ready to be brutally honest with ourselves.
The truth makes us free (John 8:32), but facing truth is not always easy.
We develop many ways to hide from truth, and they become roadblocks and hinderances to our healing.
· I was not the cause of my wounds:
But I wanted to be healed
· I eventually had to realize that even though I desired healing, I was not dealing with the roadblocks that needed to be removed.
·
Are you serious about being healed?
· Man carried wounds for 38 years
· Jesus wanted to know if he really wanted to be healed. (John 5:6)
· Seem like an odd question (lacking compassion)
· No effort is required in desiring a thing
· But acquiring what one desires often requires overcoming a great many obstacles that are in the path of victory.
Nothing Worth Having
· Is never acquired without effort or determination
· If you are a wounded soul who desires healing,
· This question MUST be asked “Do you really want to get well?”
At some point, any person with a wounded soul must choose between remaining devasted and being healed and made completely whole.
Powerful Point: Just because someone threw you in a pit of misery does not mean that you must remain there the rest of your life. God is ready to help. Are you ready to be made well?
God gives us promises of helping us, but we are partners with God in our healing, and we will need to do our part.
The Roadblock of Avoidance
Hoping by running away or ignoring reality or problems long enough, they will go away?
Joyce’s Story
· She thought when she left home, her problems would stop.
o No more abuse from her dad.
o No more pain.
o But she had to deal with the effects of what she had been through
o She married the first man that showed her interest
o That relationship turned out into 5 years of abuse
o She Married her current husband, Dave Meyer
o He truly loved her and showed her love
o But because she had wounds, she deflected any effort he made to show his love towards her.
o She didn’t trust men or their authority
o Whenever people didn’t make Joyce feel the way she wanted to feel, she became angry and conveniently put the blame on whoever wasn’t giving her what she wanted.
NOTE: It is our secrets that makes us sick.
When you have secrets buried within you:
· You can’t accept meaningful, loving relationships
· You can’t heal because you avoid dealing with the problems.
· You think that ignoring the problems will make them go away. It won’t!
Joyce thought:
Getting away from her problems (like her father’s house and divorcing her first husband) she thought she could push down the memories of what happened to her and go on with her life. NOPE!
· She went to seminar with husband.
· The speaker was also abused by her father.
· Joyce’s husband purchased Speaker’s book.
· Reading the book caused hidden, undealt pain to re-surface.
· She successfully avoided dealing with the root of her problems, but they always resurfaced, and she continued being miserable.
This Time was Different
· She knew that she could no longer ignore the pain of her past.
· She knew that she had to ask God to get involved in her life to help her be the person HE wanted her to be.
· But she had to FACE the pain of her past…No longer could she run.
· God spoke 2 words gently to her, “It’s Time”
· It was time to remove the first roadblock.
· You have to face the past in order to go forward
· Its time to remove the first road block
We run from our problems
· We run from our problems in different ways.
· Jonah tried to run
· He ran in the opposite direction from where he was told to go
· Jonah found himself in some very difficult and uncomfortable circumstances until he eventually followed God’s direction (Jonah 1-3)
If Joyce would have ignored God’s 2 words to her:
· She would still be in a pit of despair with all her misery.
· Our past may be the reason we behave in undesirable ways, but we should not let it become an excuse to say the way we are.
· Buried feelings have energies on their own.
· They are alive, and they constantly affect us in adverse ways until we confront and deal with them.
· No matter how far down we have pushed them into our soul, they will manifest themselves in some way sooner or later.
· They will not ever simply vanish.
· They must be dealt with.
Facing Reality
· A wounded person may waste years of their life, and some even waste their entire life, trying to get something from someone that they simply don’t know how to give.
· Joyce wanted parents who loved her, but they had problems of their own.
· (The Mirror) Joyce accepted the fact that her parents cannot love her any more than they have always loved her.
· She stopped expecting.
· Nothing is more frustrating than trying to get something from someone that they don’t have and never will give us.
Joyce had to face reality:
1. Even though her parents had forsaken her, God would adopt her as His own child.
2. Even though God may not give you the thing you desire, He will give you something even better if you trust Him.
3. God could not make her parents love her because He gives each of us free will.
4. You must be willing to face the truth about them and the pain they had caused and not be bitter because of it, then He would give you His love and acceptance.
5. God would be Joyce’s Mother and Father, Sister and Brother, Friend, and everything else she would ever need.
6. God wants to do this for you and for me.
Facing the past does not mean we are to focus on it excessively, because that can be very destructive.
· God wants us to face it, deal with it, and move on.
· Don’t put it off.
· Pray about it.
· Forgive anyone you need to forgive.
· Then let it go and move beyond it.
· It may be a decision you will have to renew frequently, but each time you do, you will experience a little more freedom from the pain of your past.
The Lord doesn’t overwhelm us by showing us everything we need to deal with all at one time.
God is an amazing Counselor who is kind and merciful.
He always gives us the Grace (strength and ability) to do whatever He asks us to do.
Even though facing truth and going forward is painful, at least it is a type of pain that allows us to make progress, and that is far better than ongoing pain that will never end.
As difficult as it is to face truth concerning what others have done to us, it is often even more difficult to face truth about what we have done that is wrong.
Marriage: (Pg. 138)
God never intended to load us down with guilt and condemnation, but rather to set us free.
Realizing how much God has forgiven us and the greatness of His mercy brings us closer to Him.
His grace is Amazing!
· David Repented for being an adultery and a murderer. (page 139)
· Part of repentance is honesty facing and admitting our actions and how they affected all who were involved.
· David admitted that before he confessed (faced truth), he felt as if his bones were wasting away, and he groaned day and night.
· That sounds like a man who is miserable in his soul.
· David was the King.
· He could do anything he wanted to do and go anywhere he wanted to go, and yet he was not free until he faced truth and took responsibility for his actions (Psalm 32:3-4)
· After he confessed, facing truth about all that he had done, God instantly forgave him, and the iniquity and the guilt were dealt with (Psalm 32:5).
· Facing truth- whether it is the truth about something that has been done to us or something that we have done to someone else or against God – is the key to the healing of the soul and being set free from the past.
· David asked God for mercy and stated that he was conscious of his transgression.
· He wasn’t hiding or running any longer (Psalm 51:1-3).
· David said that God desires truth in the inner being (Psalm 51:6)
There’s Nothing we cannot be forgiven for
· NOTE: Forgiveness DOES NOT mean that there’s not consequences for our Sins; but God still forgives us and loves us.
· No amount of sin is too much for God to forgive
· God’s Grace---His undeserved favor --- is greater than any sin we or anyone else could ever commit (Page 140)
o Where sin increased and abounded, grace (God’s unmerited favor) has surpassed it and increased the more and superabounded (Romans 5:20)
The Roadblock of Blame
The roadblock of blaming others for our misery and problems is a huge issue. Blaming is in itself anyone or anything for our own BAD behavior, we will never break free from it.
We have to take ownership of our behavior. Own it and become responsible so God can set you free from it.
Where did the “blame game” begin:
o It began in the Garden of Eden (Gen 3) and has never ceased since then.
o We avoid responsibility for our mistakes and behaviors through blaming.
o We always find ways to blame others for our mistakes and our shortcomings.
o We blame others without even realizing what we are doing.
o Blaming quickly becomes and excuse for us as human beings to not take responsibility for our own actions.
· We must face the truth about our behaviors.
· And enjoy the FREEDOM that God has given us.
The Roadblock of Excuses – Bottom Page 141
Major Roadblock – Making excuses for our wrong behavior and our progress. And our excuses must be confronted and moved out of the way.
· Excuses are reasons stuffed with lies.
· Our excuses excuse our behavior as a result of us lying to our selves about what we did or why we did it.
· George Washington Carver said, “98% of failures comes from people who have the habit of making excuses.”
· “That’s an empty excuse.” That’s what excuses are. They have no truth in them. They carry no weight with God.
· The excuses we can come up with are endless, but they are all simply ways to avoid taking responsibility for our actions, and until we do that, there is no healing.
How to overcome excuse:
· Real freedom comes when we say, “I’m sorry and there is no excuse for my behavior!
· When we say that and mean it, it sets us free and goes a long way in helping the people we have hurt to forgive us.